So it's a blog. I can honestly say I thought highschool was the last of my blogging days. But I guess I was wrong. I've been learning so much lately- so much insight into the world and into others. How we can really discover who we are. How we can love better. How we can learn more. So I wanted to write them down, for memory, for inspiration. For me. Maybe for you. And I believe if I can sort past the melodramas and the monotonies that tendencies usually allow, I can write about the things in life that are real. I hope you are encouraged. Or even better- inspired.
Earlier this week, I was walking out of class and I passed a bench that I used to sit on and draw during my very first semester of college. I remembered everything I used to experience from the vantage point of that singular spot, and I began to reflect on the girl that I was three years ago.
At first, I was satisfied with how I have grown and matured during college. I am much less emotional than I was in those days. I am much more secure in who I am. And I know I have collected wisdom from everywhere I have been, everyone I have encountered, and every trial I have endured. But as this satisfaction settled about me, another thought rushed into my head. This one much more unsettling. I do not have the naivety or the innocence that I had three Octobers and lots of tears ago.
I used to be a dreamer; now I'm a realist. I used to be a giver; now I'm a protector. I used to be trusting; now I'm just skeptical. I used to be passionate; now I'm numb. Then I look around, and I realize I'm not the only one who has changed in these ways. See? We're trading truth for lies. We're trading hope for safety. And it's not a fair trade. I know I'm cheating myself of the potential fullness of character and heart.
As of today, I'm going to try to get my old heart back. Proclaim the lies that you are choosing to believe, and let truth be spoken to your heart.
Easier said than done? Yes. I know. That's why we should probably just go ahead and ask for some help.
